Haven

My feet have tread this shore so many times
Pebble crunch and damp sand
The scent of the sea
The ebb and flow creeps and retreats
And my soul keeps the rhythm of the waves
In the comfort of the dark that envelops me

My son is the light in the window
And it’s emanating glow
He’s the lighthouse beacon that cuts through the night
Now… and now… and now…
He is moonlight and moonlight on water
Illuminating my way back home
Seems he’s been here with me forever
His doe-eyes have seen more than he shows

My mother and father are the hills
Silhouetted against the inky sky
Integral to my landscape
They anchor and tether me
A landmark of safety
My rescue and sanctuary

My little girl is ‘twinkle stars’ and playful breeze
She is warmth of sun; her embraces and her kisses baby sweet
She is birdsong and first light at the dawn of day
Her innocence breaks my heart and takes my breath away
She is a mirror reflecting back to me
A beauty and a goodness only her pure, forgiving heart perceives
I delight in her adoration for a moment bashfully
Before my shame wells up and washes over me
Leaves me aching to be that mother that she thinks she sees

Old friends are the craggy headlands bordering the bay
Familiar
But so distant
Offering fleeting glimpses of a past I almost yearn for
Hints of a more wholly connected me I can almost remember
Places of beauty I rarely venture
And mostly avoid

Old Love is like drifting clouds on the horizon
Gradually being swept from this place
Starting to dissipate
Occasionally without warning casting unwelcome shadow
At times I see my own shape in its recollection
At others just foreboding hue
Portent of storms that may yet brew

Extended family, aunts, uncles and cousins
Are the outlying periphery
Unquestioning, shoulder-shrugging ‘acceptance’ and eccentricity
Each embroiled too deeply in their own turmoil to cast too long a glance at me
They are the woodlands and the rolling fields
They are the backdrop to my childhood
And to my ‘becoming’

The vantage point of time and guidance
Afford a clearer view
Eyes open to the truth… adjusting
This old neighbourhood is rendered new
And I have never been more at home
More anchored
Nor yet more free

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