Serially lost; part 1… ‘blossoms a rose in the deeps of my heart’

Among the most profound and beautiful experiences of my life are the first time I felt my son move inside me and his arrival in the world… I didn’t really have a preconceived idea about how the birth would be. Thanks to my very effective socialisation I never doubted there would be degrees of discomfort but I felt I could ‘handle’ it and was ardently against any ‘unnecessary’ medical interference. I had the (#hindsight) benefit of a mother who’d read Dr Gantly-Reid and Bettelheim; was a La Leche League advocate and refused to use the word ‘pain’ when I asked her whether it would ‘hurt’. I remember I found all this intensely annoying at the time. I had my own ideas about how I would do things; left Gantly-Reid on the Shelf beside ‘The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding’ and ‘Breast is Best’ and told my mother in no uncertain terms that I would not be attending any LLL meetings… thought I knew it all. Second time round I often took those yellow-leafed books from the shelves and looked through them… even long after I knew I wouldn’t need them. Continue reading

Room with a View…

Home PC 006

This was my ‘room with a view’…  a view of a street on the go… during daylight hours the view often proved a distraction to me… its constant stream of people and traffic ebbing and flowing; always something to catch the eye momentarily or hold the attention for a while; to incite the curiosity and induce a fondness for daydreaming and people watching… my attempts at study commonly ended in procrastination; gazing out at the ‘down below’… from four floors up it was the perfect vantage point to watch the world bustle. Continue reading