Silhouette of rock, black in the fast-fading light… jutting out into the sea, turned silver by the approaching twilight. Lights twinkle on the distant headland, which lies against a backdrop of burnt orange sky.

A sleek body breaks the surface of the water, turns, still submerged, and disappears again. It retains its anonymity and, for all my eyes strain on the spot, the only perceivable sign of its presence are a few faint, receding, ripples… Allahu alam where it’s gone; melted back into its watery domain.

I remain seated on the stones, drinking in the evening air and sea sounds. I cast glances at my children throwing pebbles into the darkening waves, growing ever-more quiet on the damp shore; racing one another half-heartedly; content despite the death-knell to summer that the cool air sounds.

I sit here dreaming dreams and forming plans for a future I may never witness but would love to see. The water awakens and thrills me; inspires and rejuvenates me; soothes me, heart, soul and mind… I struggle to tear myself away from its majesty.

I’ll sit for one more moment and soak in its perfection… and the perfection of this moment… before we return once more to the place we call home… to sleep and dream of the sea.

25.08.2016

Open Road

The deserted road, like the weeks ahead, stretches out before us and the wind tosses our hair as shadows lengthen and evening approaches. Against the distant skyline stand the mountains… our destination and the unknown. We’ll reach our journey’s end under cover of darkness and watch the sun reappear from a new and unfamiliar vantage point in sha Allah. Life calls, adventure awaits and my two young companions are high on anticipation, alternating between the chatter of plans-in-the-making and the quietude of drinking it all in. I am filled with joyful contentment, and love… I could stay like this with them, in this moment, on this road, forever. My heart swells with gratitude to Allah… for these children, for this feeling, for bringing me to this through the years of pain, anguish and overwhelm… for supporting me even when I deserved His rebuke, for spurring me on when I had no more strength, for making me strong again through Him… for His guidance, His mercy… for stripping me of my attachment to this life, in order that I could learn to attach myself to Him and become whole, for this open road, for it all… my emotions rise as the sun starts to set and slip from view and I thank Him from my deepest core, from the depths of my bruised but happy heart.

19/08/2016

Black Swan

A black swan cuts a singular path through the blue air… I turn my eyes upward for just a moment, surveying the apparent dome of the summer sky. Unusual cloud formations, seemingly motionless despite the welcome breeze, give the scene a surreal sense of pause… turning back the swan has disappeared from sight. A lone gull crosses my field of vision, black-tipped wings rising and falling rhythmically and unhurried; sun glinting on its pure-white body.

A yacht moves out into the bay, so slowly it could be imagined to be drifting, or even shrinking. Departing at a diagonal from me, its sail has already risen above the horizon, where fifteen minutes ago it had looked close enough to touch… now its mast is barely perceptible where sea meets sky; cobalt touching pale-blue serenity. Continue reading